THE VISION
When the “First Comes Love” Project began in March of 2009, the country had just inaugurated a fair-minded President, yet in the same election, Proposition 8, outlawing LGBTQ marriages in California, was passed. The Defense of Marriage Act was the law of the land. As of 2015, DOMA has been declared unconstitutional and Proposition 8 has been defeated…..for good. But the work is not done. There are still many states in the USA where there are discriminatory laws against the LGBTQ community. There remains a deep misunderstanding of the relationships in the LGBTQ community. New laws do not always change minds. Understanding is the only weapon to combat hatred, bigotry, violence, and bullying towards LGBTQ individuals and couples of all ages. This project serves to provide a new perspective on the issue and illuminate the real life stories of the couples involved by educating those outside of the LGBTQ community, while celebrating those who are a part.
The goal of “First Comes Love” is to provide a glimpse into the “everyday” lives of LGBTQ couples who have been in their relationships for 10, 20, 30, 40 and even 50 years! Unlike the stereotypical picture painted by the media, these portraits and stories seek to educate those who question, celebrate those who have loving, devoted relationships, and provide an historical record of the strength of this community. We have photographed and recorded diverse, LGBTQ couples and created an expressive portrait to represent in each relationship the depth, the seriousness, and the love between two people who have made a commitment to one another. Portraits are presented in black and white to further break down the stereotypes in a society where homosexuality is often characterized by nothing more than images of drag queens, gay pride parades, and rainbow flags. But the essence of this community goes much deeper. The world needs to see the more human side of these relationships and this project intends to show just that. These couples are “over the rainbow” in love and the portraits, by being in black & white, force the viewer to take a deeper look into the true nature of these relationships. This project emphasizes that gay relationships are in many ways no different than heterosexual ones, yet each is unique, in and of itself. The people represented in this project live “ordinary” lives made extraordinary by their endurance of the attitudes and policies that society directs against them, all the while facing the everyday struggles faced by any enduring relationship. Through tenderness of touch or intimacy of gaze, the deep seeded emotions of these couples are revealed.
The “First Comes Love” Project is a traveling exhibition of photographs, stories and video and in the fall of 2014 became a self-published hardbound book (Soleil Press), available only via the project website (www.firstcomeslove.org) and select independent bookstores. This documentary will bear witness that couples represented in the project have endured the challenges, victories, defeats, births, deaths, loves and losses that any couple faces in many years together. These couples stand together “for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health” and WITHstand the test of time and the discrimination allowed by inequitable laws of many states. The book emphasizes the “normalcy” of these relationships and will serve as a testament to the LGBTQ youth of our community, that long-term, stable, loving relationships are possible for their future.
Every effort has been made to show as much diversity as possible within the community by including many racial and cultural groups as well as transgendered and questioning individuals and couples. Some of the issues raised in the stories of these couples include raising children, custody of or adopting children, immigration policies, medical issues, living with HIV/AIDS, death of a long-term partner, interracial relationships, and even divorce. This work shows a group of people as diverse as the human race itself yet who share the common bond of what it takes to commit to a lifetime of love.
B•Proud